theblackactor.com

The Rock

Man, I barely know how to write a post. LOL. I haven't blogged in so long, I forgot what Typepad looked like. LOL. I will be talking to you guys soon. This blog ain't dead. 

But I just had to post.

Last night I was watching The Biggest Loser. During the commercial break, there was a Trailer.

All I  know is this:

• It is 2010.
• Star of Movie -- The Rock, an athlete, prolly at least 6'3", over 200 lbs., buff, "manly" if you will.
• Some cocamamie movie.
• This man was wearing a tu-tu!!!

That's all I have to say. I could say plenty more.

Where You Goin'?

In…

I’M GOIN’ IN!

Ah… the fearless white male.

I can’t say how many times I’ve heard the cliché line, “I’M GOIN’ IN.”  But, trust me, its been lots of times.

One of the reasons this blog was conceived was because of some of the disturbing images in film I have observed over the years. Naturally, during those viewings, I wasn’t exactly sitting down with a pen and pad. 

Now that I publish the blog, I am trying to recall some of the films that I’ve seen which contain various unpalatable images. This article discusses, in particular, the utterance of the ubiquitous, sanguine decree, “I’m goin’ in!”  Because my memory fails me, I am unable to present specific examples of films in which I’ve heard this.  Can you?

That damn fearless white male, again. LMAO. Of course, as you know, I’ve touched on these matters before. See the White Way category. 

“I’m goin’ in!” is a decidedly overused phrase –- so much so that sometimes, in anticipation of the actor speaking the words, my friend and I actually voice the words before the actor does. I think there was a time or two when we hit it on the mark... when that archetype of the grand species whitis malis actually said the words after we did! But often, we just say the phrase, even when the actor doesn’t. The other recurrent pattern is when instead of voicing the words, the actor executes the action instead.

Are you guys aware of the frequency with which the white male hero character utters these words? Have you ever noticed it? It’s quite common, actually. 

The prevailing attitude and underlying message is, “Bring it on. No problem. Whitis Malis can handle it. Soooooooooo…

• Open the door – even though a 200 foot tidal wave awaits you
• Turn the corner – even though there are 4,238 people shooting, armed with Uzis
• Jump into the water – even though it’s shark-infested
• Enter the room – even though it’s filled with poisonous gas and you have no mask
• Run into that building – that flame-filled, smoke-filled building
• Crawl through that air conditioner shaft…

ROTFLMAO

Didn’t Jason Patric repeat the cliché in Speed 2:  Cruise Control (1997)? I don’t remember where he was going, but he was “goin’ in” to save the world… okay not the world -– the people on the ship. But still. And of course, he saved them.

Am I hallucinating or did George Clooney or someone else say it in The Perfect Storm (2000)?

Ah… the forever fearless… triumphing in spite of the odds… courage… bravery… confidence… unswayed… decisive…  determined…

Martyrs. LOL. No, that’s not true really. It would imply suffering. These dudes don’t even break a sweat. And that’s part of the point of this article. Not only are they completely unafraid, but when they do “go in,” once they’re “in” it all goes so smoothly. No scratches. No sweats. No trembling in terror. No inability to breathe. No racing heartbeat. No knees buckling. No tears. No second guessing.

ROTFLMAO.  :)

Image, y’all. Image.

And so there she is, that 8-year-old Japanese girl in Tokyo –- marveling at the manliness of the American whitis malis. Yes. Yes. She marvels. And she probably still marvels when she is 15 and 20 and 35. But that’s another story.

Anyway, can you think of at least one movie in which whitis malis says, “I’m goin’ in”? I’d love to get a list going.

Wow - I saw the Mammy

When I wrote the article, Show Me The Mammy, some of the commenters referred to some actress on General Hospital.  I felt a little in the dark because I didn't know who this woman was.  I'm off today, fooling around on the computer and the TV is on that channel -- and wouldn't you know it, General Hospital is on.

I'm not paying attention to the show, but became aware of a certain actress because of her voice. I turned to look.

Now, I can't say for sure, because I don't watch the show, but my God, she certainly seems like a MAMMY to me!!!!!!!! And this after only watching her for like 1.5 minutes. I wonder what people who watch her all the time think of her.

I saw her roll her eyes, catch an attitude and bitch and moan. LOL. LMAO.

I don't think ever in the history of the world that there has ever been a white actress that big on a soap opera. Y'alll check me if I'm wrong about that. I'll go so far to say I don't think there's ever been a white actress that big on a television show.

I'm not suggesting she is unattractive or shouldn't be a working actress on that soap because she is overweight. That is not the point here.

One thing about soaps -- it always seems like everybody on them is perfectly physically fit and beautiful. People don't ever seem to be average. LOL.   

Interesting. I was actually startled by this woman's appearance -- her appearance in contrast to that of other soap actors.

(Sorry, I don't know her name and don't have time at the moment to find her name or photo.)

IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE

Look at that Whitis Malis Go!

there once was a man who wouldn’t grow old
he never had to listen to what his body told
this old man would forever be hot
perfectly positioned to reclaim the top spot

they gave him a shot
one last chance
to show he is virile
for that one last dance

this man is strong and smart and clever
wrinkles in his brow? no, not ever
say what you please, he needs not youth
fuk what they say, he ain’t long in the tooth

he will be almighty and we will awe at his machismo
fuk what the world say, he only care ‘bout what he know
he knows he is revered, the great white male
he will remain strong and robust and shall always prevail

he is brave, vibrant, a hottie and a stud
I think he shall not shed one drop of blood
he is potent and powerful and never weak
for that fate is reserved only for the meek

he’ll be runnin, jumpin, movin, floatin
the world on his shoulders, he’ll no doubt be totin
this haggard hotness is here to stay
could it really be any other way?

you can tell this man that he is past his prime
and that now it is surely someone else’s time
but he can ignore this
as if a man in his forties

he’s the ever powerful – and he’s goin’ in
he’ll establish honor and righteousness and of course, he’ll win
for he is strong, he is strong of the whitis malis kind
all day long, all day long – he will save mankind

who do I speak about
the one who knows
that 60 is 30
that’s how it goes

 

65-year-old Harrison Ford will star in the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The last installment, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was released in 1889 1989. 

Hysterical, really. Now a sista can suspend her disbelief but er… uh.

July 13, 1942 – 65 years old; I believe he was 62 during the filming.

I ain’t no poet, y’all. I’m just sayin’.

All things considered, Harrison Ford is still a handsome and fit 60 plus -– complete with a full head of hair, I might add. They say he did his own stunts. Kudos. Of course, 62-year-old men can be strong and athletic and sharp and smart and sexy and all those things. Men over 60 can run marathons, bench press 500 pounds and be in better physical condition than their twenty-year-old brethren. But that is not the point of this poem post.

Image is.

    

You May Also Want To Read:

The Amazing White Woman
White Male Domination - Blood Diamond
Save a White Woman - The Brave One

 

Image Source

The Amazing White Woman

Did you guys see The Italian Job (2003)?

I remember saying to myself, “That Stella Bridger (Charlize Theron) certainly is something special. She’s quite phenomenal.” 

After all, how many people in the world are:

blond-haired beauties…

   who can

drive a car like an expert racecar driver…

   and

crack open industrial safes with expert skill and precision?

I’m just asking.

I may look into this further, but can anybody think of a case of the amazing white woman?

Off Topic, but not Totally Off Topic

      

I can hear 'em now...

"Stop hatin'!"

"He ain't killin' nobody."

"He has kids to feed."

"Stop hatin'!'"

What do the Japanese or the Dutch think when they see this?

Picture ganked from Bossip.

Coon? Buffoon? Or John Witherspoon?

Is this man?

a.  a coon

b.  a buffoon

c.  a jackass

d.  all of the above

e.  none of the above 

Thank you, Hotel Rwanda

I just saw Hotel Rwanda (2004). Don Cheadle starred in this film, as Paul Rusesabagina. 

    

There was something in the movie worth mentioning:

    

I tell you… it was so GREAT to see a black man: 

 

• display courage and bravery
• be a leader
• possess innate goodness
• be respectable
• show respect
• display unselfishness
• be proud
• take control    

 

This was so refreshing and so wonderful to see.

Hmmm… Let’s See... (Big Momma’s House)

• Church scenes

• Reverend

• Singing in church

• Organ

• Organ player

• Dancing in church

• Choir

• Scene involving excrement (character was taking dump), farting

• Morbidly obese black woman (who, by the way, is a sh*t-talker)

• Morbidly obese black woman whose ass was bared solely to elicit laughs

• Dialog:  “This sho is some…”

• Obligatory gospel spiritual

• A character named:  Hattie May

• Senior, black, countrified Christian women

… blah… blah… blah

The screenwriter?  A black man named Darryl Quarles.

 

Lawd, Jesus hep me; I done had enough

… of the Old Black Christian Wise Woman character. She is my aunt, my grandmother, my friends’ mother, my neighbor, my mother’s friend, my co-worker. Of course we all love her. She raised us. She loved us, watched over us and cared for us and sacrificed for us. And of course, in real life we celebrate these women (or we should, anyway) Even still…
    
… I want this broad gone!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
… from the silver screen, that is.    

(Worth noting, is her ubiquitous presence on TV; even more so than in movies)    

Seems like Hollywood has become complacent with the depiction of “over-60” black actresses in film, since they’re all portrayed the same way. She’s always praising the Lord, calling Jesus’ name, praying to Jesus and spouting out grandmotherly wisdom (with a Christian or Baptist slant). Hollywood feels comfortable with her… and we (as filmmakers and as black moviegoers) do, too.
    
Filmmakers:  Ooooooooooh Be daannnggeerroouuss. Go out on a limb. Something new, perhaps.  Just once. Just one time. Just once, for Goddsakes…
    
… I’d like to see black 50-60 year old actresses have a chance to play a woman who:
    
     is an atheist, a Buddhist, a Jew, a Satanist
     acts too young for her age
     still takes a hit uses cocaine
     cares that her tits are sagging
     is getting work done so they won’t sag
     who still works… as a plumber, or a yoga instructor
     rolls a blunt better than most
     is in love with her nephew
     has her first lesbian affair
     is not wise and possesses no real wisdom or enlightenment of any kind
     is without children
     is without grandchildren
     is starting a business
     skis
     just started blogging
     enjoys Sushi
     owns a pair of leather pants

You guys get the point. I’m done with the stereotypical image of over-60 black women in motion pictures. And it’s not about wanting filmmakers to go against the grain just for the sake of going against the grain. That’s silly. And it’s not about wanting to see a middle-aged or mature person behaving as a teenager. I just want to see another image of the over-60 black woman because their lives are worth seeing. There is value in their lives, too. And the world needs to see them, as far as I’m concerned.    
   
It’s time to broaden the spectrum. I want to see someone else. 
    
Don’t you?